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| Name: KINGSLEY DICK Email: kingsley_dic@yahoo.com Comments: KINGFU ENTERPRISE 21 AV 21 RUE 40 TRIECHVILLE ABIDJAN-COTE d'IVOIRE We the aforementioned organisation based here in abidjan is interested in purchasing of goods from your company. We deal in FRAGRANCE AND PERFUMS, we have our branches in Togo, Ghana and Gabon and moreso their is an ecowas trade promotion coming up in lagos very soon which our organisation has been granted to participate in the open market and that is why we are contacting you. please kindly forward to us all kinds of goods you have in stock including their prices, and upon the receipt of this letter, and if accepted we shall effect payment through our corporate international credit card account. We do hope that we shall be doing business with these noble and professional manners. thanks as we look forward to hearing fr! om you. Best regards, |
| All the classic Nigerian trademarks
are there... problems capitalizing, never heard of us but wants to
buy a bunch of stuff, wants to pay with credit card, doesn't even know
what we sell, etc.
I decided to create a special e-mail address for these guys -- Don Truss (i.e. "don't trust") at don@bath-and-body.com -- and forward the message from info@bath-and-body.com to don@bath-and-body.com. |
| From: Bath-and-Body.com
<info@bath-and-body.com> Subject: FW: Bath-and-body.com Feedback Form To: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Don, this one's for you... |
| And "Don's" reply is... |
| From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: Bath-and-body.com Feedback Form Greetings
Mr. Dick! |
| From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: INVOICE REQUIRED DEAR MR Don Truss Thanks for the quick reponse to our demand. please we will need the total cost of the following products choosen and the freight charges through fedex to abidjan-Ivory Coast. Lotion - 50 btls assorted Shower Gel - 50 btls assorted Body Spray - 200 btls assorted Soaps - 100 pcs assorted and if you have perfumes add 100 pcs diferent odours as samples Please we are standingby for the invoice asap. best regards. MR KINGSLEY DICK |
| Well, Mr. Dick wasn't put off by the sexual references and questionable language. Let me try again... |
| From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: INVOICE REQUIRED Hello
again my friend, Mr. Dick! |
| It's true. That's the real cost to ship the products he listed to West Africa. A person with a stolen credit card wouldn't care, though. Also, if this guy is like the Nigerian con artists, he doesn't want bath products anyway. He wants electronics. |
| From: kingsley dick
<kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: IMPORTANT HELLO MR TRUSS. I HAVE WELL RECEIVE YOUR MESSAGE. PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO MAKE AN ENQUIRY FROM FEDEX HOW MUCH IT WILL COST TO MY COUNTRY. WE NEED THIS PRODUCTS BECUASE AMERICA COSMETICS ARE IN HIGH DEMAND HERE AND NOR MATTER HOW MUCH THE TRANSPORTATION WILL COST WE CAN AFFORD IT. PLEASE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE FORWARD ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT WE CAN COMMUNICATE AS WELL. BEST REGARDS. MR KINGSLEY DICK |
| OH, NOW WE'RE WRITING EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Clearly, Mr. Dick has read the book How To Be A Nigerian. OK, I'm going to crank it up even more. |
| From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: IMPORTANT Mr. Dick, How are you today? Healthy and well, I hope. I wish I could say the same for myself, but my rhoids were really killing when I woke up. I had to ask Sally (the dumb broad in shipping) to toss my salad this morning. She hates having to do that, but she couldn't say no 'cause I'm the boss man. Anyway, she was helpful in more than one way this morning. She found a much better quote from FedEx International Economy. It will take a couple days longer than International Express but it's just a shitload cheaper. It's only $1,804.65 instead of $3,214.45. I nearly kissed Sally when she told me that, but as I mentioned, she had just tossed my salad. If the new quote looks good, just reply so I can crank it up some more. Don Truss |
 Oh boy, I sure do
hope he responds!
Heh, "toss my salad".
I'm sure he's imagining this ---> |
| From: kingsley dick
<kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: IMPORTANT DEAR MR DON. THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL. I HAVE APPREECIATED YOUR EFFORTS REGARDING THE SHIPMENT. PLEASE GO AHEAD AND PREPARE THE GOODS SO THAT I FOPRWARD MY CREDIT CARD FOR DEBIT. BEST REGARDS. KINGSLEY |
| Mr. Don? Looks
like he's tired of me calling him Mr. Dick and wants me to call him Mr.
Kingsley instead. Sorry but I can't do that.
My favorite scam-the-scammer website usually asks Nigerian con artists to send pictures of themselves holding signs. I'm going to see if I can get this guy to send something. I'm gonna be real polite 'cause I REALLY want him to forge the documents I'm requesting and spend the money to mail them, but I just know he's going to come up with some excuse not to send them. |
| From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: IMPORTANT MR. DICK, It will only take us a few hours to put your order together. Since you are on the other side of the world, we will need the following information from you before we can prepare and ship your order: 1) a
letter on your company letterhead listing the products you would like to
receive and authorizing the shipping charge we quoted Please mail these documents to us at the following address: Bath-and-Body.com Please let me know the cost of mailing these documents, and I will credit the amount towards the purchase price of your order. When is the ECOWAS trade promotion? Thanks
again, |
| From: kingsley dick
<kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: IMPORTANT dear mr Don. thanks for your mail. we can provide all your demande but you got to know that mailing it will take a whole lot of time because the Ecowas trade fair will come on at 14th-11-2004, so we suggest if we can scan it and send it through mail, hope that will be faster and possible. best regards. Kingsley Dick |
| I told him it was OK to e-mail them 'cause I really want to see how good he is at Photoshop. But then I didn't hear from him for over a week so I sent him the following message: |
| From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: IMPORTANT Mr
DICK, |
| Ahhhaaaa... This is what I've been hoping for! Official documents a la Photoshop. |
| From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: DOCUMENTS DEAR MR DON. WE ARE SORRY FOR THE LATENESS IN OUR REPONSE TO YOUR MAIL. ALL BECAUSE OF THE POLITICAL UNREST HERE. PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED DOCUMENTS RQUIRED FOR THE TRANSACTION. PLEASE DEBIT AS REQUIRED FROM MY CREDIT CARD FOR THE PAYMENT. BEST REGARDS. KINGSLEY NB. PLEASE SEND ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT I WILL CALL YOU AS POSSIBLE.
|
|
OK, there are SO many signs of forgery here, but I'm just going to point out a couple, starting with the scans of the credit card. 1. He sent us a Wells Fargo ATM & Check Card. Wells Fargo ONLY has branches in the US, and they only issue cards to US residents or US-based businesses. Also, Check Cards only allow you to charge $300 per day, which brings me to point #2...
3. The copy of the credit card is black & white, but his signature is blue. The idiot signed the photocopy of the credit card instead of signing the credit card, and he did it with a blue pen. There's lots of other stuff (the embossed effect of the card number is a Photoshop offset, the text on the check card and ID is too sharp compared to the rest of the cards, etc.), but the bottom line is that Mr. Dick is a total fraud (as if there were ever ANY doubt). I'm gonna have to spend a while thinking about what to write him next. Suggestions are welcome. ----------------------------- OK, I finally figured out how to respond! I'll let Sally do it... |
|
From: Sally <sally@bath-and-body.com> |
| Will he believe me? YES! |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: Mr. Don Truss HELLO SALLY. I HAVE RECEIVE YOUR MAIL AND SORY FOR THE BAD NEWS OF MR DON. PLEASE ADVICE ME WHEN YOU WILL SHIP THE GOODS BECAUSE WE HAVE AN EXHIBITION TO ATTEND AND WE HAVE ALREADY MADE THE PAYMENT THROUG OUR CREDIT CARD. BEST REGARDS |
|
I didn't respond for over a week
'cause I've been too busy, and
he sent a quick message to say "PLEASE ADVICE ME WHEN YOU WILL BE SHIPPING THE GOODS BECAUSE I HAVE WAITED ENOUGH AND WAITED A LOT OF TIME WAITING FOR YOU."
I need to come up with a good response now -- one that also explains why I haven't responded in so long... |
 From: Sally <sally@bath-and-body.com>Subject: I'm sorry Oh my dear Mr. Dick, It has been so long since I last written you, and I'm so sorry. I have started at least a dozen messages to you but have never had the guts to send any of them. But now that I have had several glasses of Manachevitz, I feel that I can truly talk to you. Mr. Dick, the reason that I haven't responded in so long is that I have fallen in love with you. I know this sounds crazy, but I have read your messages to that ogre, Don Truss, and have seen what a truly compassionate, understanding and God-loving individual you really are. It must be so difficult in your situation with all that is going on in Abidjan right now, but just believe, Dicky boy, that you have someone here in the US that truly understands and loves you. After you sent your picture, I just knew that we were meant to be together. Please leave that terrible place, and come rest your sorrows in my bossom. Oh, I shouldn't be saying these things, and I'll probably delete this message before I send it, but just in case I don't delete it, I want you to show you a picture of me and know if you might share my feelings. I could be so good for you. I'm feeling dizzy from all the Manachevitz right now that I think I really will send this message. Dare I also send you the picture that I made of the two of us? YES! I must! So you can truly see how I feel! I LOVE YOU, MR DICK!!!
Awaiting your response, |
| Didn't take long for a response... |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: WHAT IS HAPPENING HELLO SALLY. |
| Damn! He's catching on. ;-) I know exactly how to respond. |
|
From: Sally <sally@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: WHAT IS HAPPENING My dear Mr. Dick, Please forgive me. My last message was not entirely honest. I had drank way too much when I sent that message, and, well... the truth is that I was very confused and scared when I wrote that message. You see, Mr. Dick, it looks like I might be in terrible trouble. Yes, Don Truss is definitely dead. As I told you before, he was a terrible man. I don't want to shock you by telling you some of the things he did, but I couldn't live another day being treated like that. I can't go into too much detail because I told you that I might be in terrible trouble already, but I was there when Don died. I was there to make sure he died. I can't say anymore about it now. Please understand. No, Mr. Dick, I do not love you, but I know you're a good, honest man, and I need to leave this country right now. If I bring your products with me, I can get permission to leave right away. I have a lot of money so finding a place to stay isn't a problem if you can give me advice. I have already packaged two large suitcases and can ship the rest of my important belongings right away. Can I trust you to receive them and advise me on where to live? I will also include the gels and lotions you ordered. Also, what airline is the best for flying to Abidjan? Does Kingfu Enterprise have a position for me? In understand that I may have to bribe your government officials in order to work there, but as I said, I have plenty of money. Please respond as soon as possible. God bless, Sally Blowmeoff P.S. Can you send me some pictures of Abidjan? What is the weather like there? |
| He's skeptical right now, but I know I got his interest with the promise of money. |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: WHAT IS HAPPENING HELLO |
| OK, I have a big decision to make here. Either I give him the phone number for the San Diego Secret Service field office or I give him our business number and just say that Sally's not in right now. Gonna have to think about that one a while.... |
|
From: Sally <blowmeister@gmail.com> Subject: RE: URGENT - I'm on my way, Mr Dick Oh Mr. Dick, I had to leave immediately. The police came to our office while I was on my lunch break and started asking questions about me and Don's death. I got so scared that I just left. I can't go back. I don't want to go to jail. I'll die before I go to jail again. |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: FUCK YOU GO TO HELL FOUKY SALLY YOU YOU LIKE YOU CAN GO TO HELL OR GO AND BURRY OURSELF ALIVE BUT IF I SEE YOU IN THIS ABIDJAN I WILL KILL YOU I MEAN BECAUSE YOU AN ARMROBBER AND A THIEF AS WELL A TRICKSTER AND A TERRORIST. I MEAN IT IWILL KILL YOU. MOTEHR FUCKER AGENT OF DEVIL. GO OT HELL |
|
From: Sally <blowmeister@gmail.com> Subject: RE: FUCK YOU GO TO HELL Mr. Dick! How could you say such nasty things to me! I'm crying so hard right now. Don't you know it's true... I DO love you! I am coming to Abidjan right now, and you can't stop me! I'm going to marry you and have your babies. Don't say such nasty things to me. I know that new love is difficult to accept, but you have to accept it, Mr Dick, because I do love you!!!!!!!! Stop calling me such things. I am not an armrobber! I have never stolen anyone's arm in my life! Crying, P.S. Where should we honeymoon? Do they sell penicillin there? My crabs are really acting up. |
| Whoops. Forgot something... |
|
From: Sally <blowmeister@gmail.com> Subject: RE: FUCK YOU GO TO HELL Still I am crying for the terrible things you said. I don't want you to be so mad at me, but I know you are going to be mad at this... Air France does not accept cash for payment so I had to use the Wells Fargo credit card you gave us to buy my ticket. I hear that Air France might not be able to fly me to Abidjan once I get to Paris. I might have to stay there for a while before I can get to Abidjan. If I find a place that does not accept cash, I will use your credit card again and pay you back when I see you. See you soon, honey! |
| Time for Don Truss to come back from the grave. Let's see if I can rebuild his trust again. |
|
From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Mr. Dick, |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: Thank you again for your order HELLO DON THIS STUPID GIRL YOU SAID HAS REALLY FUCKED ME UP. SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE AND BURIED ONE WEEK AGO THAT YOU ARE VERY STUPID FAT AND CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELF. IF THE GOODS HAS REALLY BEEN SEND PLEASE SEND ME THE TRACKING NUMBER THROUGH FEDEX. THE I WILL SEE THAT IT HAS REALLY BEEN SENT. MR KINGSLEY DICK |
| Yes... You can trust Don Truss. |
|
From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: RE: Thank you again for your order WHAT!? Oh, I'm going to get that stupid, buck-toothed, cross-eyed bitch. She still hasn't shown up for work since Wednesday, and she definitely won't have a job when she gets back. I was just told by our accountant that we are also missing a lot of money. She really said that I was dead? And stupid and fat? She had certainly better never return here. Well, it goes without saying that I am very sorry for her behavior. I can't track the package because the tracking slip is missing. All I see is that she sent a package to you on Wednesday. I'll have our warehouse do a quick inventory to see if the items you ordered are still in our inventory. Would she have sent you something other than products? Did she say anything else that might explain what happened? Please respond quickly, Don Truss P.S. I'M NOT FAT! I'M NOT STUPID! I'M NOT DEAD! |
| Looks like Mr. Dick is more focused on Sally right now than on Don Truss. To be sure, he trusts Don Truss more than he trusts Sally. What a dumbass! He clearly no longer suspects that both of them are fictional characters that exist only to mock his ignorance. |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: I APEAL TO YOU TO SUCK THIS I KNOW THAT BY THIS TIME YOUR ASS IS JUMPING LIKE A BILLY DOG. I WAS TOLD BY DON THAT YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL PROSTITUTE SO YOU CAN CUT THIS PICTURE AND PUT INTO YOUR ASS STUPID IDIOT WARNING: Mr. Dick attached a very nasty picture to his e-mail. Click here to see it. |
| Richard Scarry was one of my favorite writer/illustrator of children's books. He wrote a book called Billy Dog's Bad Day. I wonder if Mr. Dick read this book, too, and that's why he's comparing Sally to a Billy Dog. I've sure never heard anyone else use the term "Billy Dog". One thing's for sure, he certainly believes that Sally is real. I guess I need to send another message from Sally. She'd be in Paris by now. |
|
From: Sally <blowmeister@gmail.com> Subject: RE: FUCK YOU GO TO HELL Bonjour, Mr. Dick! I hope you're not still mad. You really don't have any reason to be upset with me. Really, Mr. Dick... take a chill pill and let it ride. Paris is everything I imagined it would be! The people are charming, the food is fabulous, and my hotel is so luxurious. I must have reached the limit with your credit card because it is no longer working here. That's OK because I stole SO much money from that stupid lotion company. Well, just as I figured, Air France is not flying Americans to Abidjan right now. It actually seems like they're just not flying white people to Abidjan, which I find very discriminatory. I can defend myself from any stupid uprising. Did I tell you that I know Karate? My Dragon Hand Job is truly something to be feared. WHAAAAA!!!!!! (Scary, eh?) Anyway, it looks like I might be here for a few more days. Maybe even a few more weeks. Can you come meet me? Can you bring my FedEx package? I see that it won't arrive until Wednesday. Again, DO NOT OPEN IT! There are things in it that you must not see. Really, Mr. Dick. Don't open it! It is very late right now, and I am off to bed. I'm in the honeymoon suite. Wish you were here. ;-) Au revoir, P.S. Looks like you tried to send me an email, but my email filter deleted it. I have it set to delete pornography. Did you try to send me some pictures of yourself, you cheeky boy, you? Save it for my arrival. |
| I don't really expect him to respond to Sally anymore. If he does, he is the most ignorant human on the planet. Could I be so lucky as to have engaged the biggest fool of our time? Maybe. Anyway, I'm going to turn my attention back to Don Truss. I want to gain Mr. Dick's trust all over again and screw him over one more time. OK, maybe two more times. |
|
From: Don Truss <don@bath-and-body.com> Subject: URGENT - Sally Blowmeoff  Mr.
Dick, please respond immediately. Our bookkeeper has found that
Sally stole over $115,000 from us, and nobody has heard anything from her
in a week. She deleted ALL the messages in her e-mail account, but
we found a picture on her computer of the two of you together as if you
are both in love.
What is this all about, Mr. Dick?! I would hate to think that you helped Sally steal this money from us. I hope she just fell in love with you the way she falls in love with men all the time. Mr. Dick, do you know where Sally is? We must know. For this amount of money, we will travel wherever we need to go to find her and get our money back. Is she with you? Why did she send a package to you? We know that the package does not have our products in it. Is our money in it? Mr. Dick, if you help us get our money back, we will reward you with a cash payment of $15,000. Even if we can't get the money back, we will give you $3,000 if you can just help us find her so we can kick her ass up and down. Please respond immediately, |
| Well, it looks like Mr. Dick isn't buying it anymore. |
|
From: kingsley dick <kingsley_dic@yahoo.com> Subject: FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU YOU ARE THE SAME AS SALLY AND DONTRUSS I DONT HAVE TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU WITH THE GAME YOU PEOPLE ARE PLAYING ON ME. BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE OUT OF MY TRAP THAT IS WHY U ARE PLAYING WITH ME.. I WILL GET BACK TO YOU OR SEND BEN LADEN TO TARGET YOUR HOUSE |
| How sad. He's been fun. Guess I'd better write him one last goodbye letter. |
 From:
Don't Trust <blowmeister@gmail.com>Subject: Don Truss & Sally Blowmeoff Mr. Dick, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! You have been SO much fun! I know you're stupid so I'll make this message really simple... First of all, Don Truss = don't trust. Mr. Dick = stupid fuck. Do you really think that anyone would send products to West Africa with a credit card? EVERY SINGLE E-MAIL FROM NIGERIA AND ABIDJAN IS BULLSHIT. Everyone in the world knows that! So, you're mad because I lied to you? What the fuck is up with that? You are a no good, lying sack of shit that only bought a computer to steal money from innocent, hard-working people. The day you sent us your first e-mail, we knew you were a liar. We didn't know how stupid you were until you kept sending us e-mails even though we were making fun of you for weeks. I hope you get ass-fucked by an elephant with herpes. Have a nice day, By the way, is Ben Laden related to Bin Laden? Please go ahead and tell him to come visit my house. I hear Ben's a nice guy. Oh, and look up the definition of "toss salad" - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toss+salad |
|
From: kingsley_dic@yahoo.com Subject: kingsley_dic@yahoo.com sent you an Urban Dictionary definition. Click on the link below to see the definition of "buttfuck": http://www.urbandictionary.com/pickup.php/18789/aecf65 - Urban Dictionary |
|
From: Sally Blowmeoff <blowmeister@gmail.com> Subject: RE: kingsley_dic@yahoo.com sent you an Urban Dictionary definition. Buttfuck? I already know what that is. It's what your parents did nine months before you were born. |
| We traded a few more messages, but they were just for the purpose of spouting off offensive insults and sharing x-rated pictures. You can read them if you want to, but you've been warned. Click here if you dare. |
|
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2.
The credit card number isn't even a Wells Fargo number. The first
six numbers identify the issuing bank, and 512107 isn't a Wells Fargo
prefix. (Being a credit card merchant has its benefits.)
Also, all US-issued Visa and MasterCard credit cards have the first four
characters of the account number printed in small, black characters
right under the first four embossed letters. Guess what? Mr.
Dick's numbers don't match.
Subject: Mr. Don Truss
