Mr Ken's Random Stories & Stuff

Non-Nigerian Scam - Looks like it's not only Nigerians who do this. This one from Ivory Coast is abso-freakin'-hilarious. Kind of long but totally worth it. I promise.
Microsoft eBigot 2000 - I wrote this press release with the hopes of submitting it to The Onion before I learned that "Editorial submissions of any kind are not accepted". If you're easily offended, just skip this one.
The Streets of San Francisco - I've had a few alcohol-fueled adventures in my life, but this is the first one that I've taken the time to put to words (probably 'cause I can't remember a couple of the others). If you're considering employing me with your company, just skip this one, too. ;-)
7-Eleven Drive-Through - I was lucky enough to have a camera handy when a drunk driver thought this 7-Eleven had a drive-through.
Right to Party - Area man battles for his right to party without intervention. Conflict ensues. Things get pretty hairy.
Wigger - My story about how some punk-ass wigger fucked up my ride. (truthfulness factor: 98%) If you don't know what a wigger is, click here.
The New A-Team - I just found out that the A-Team is going to be made into a movie in 2005 to "reflect contemporary issues and politics." What a crock! Anyway, I whipped up a movie poster for it.
Holtville Police Briefs - Summaries of actual calls to the Holtville, California Police Department and 911 emergency line as printed in the Holtville Tribune.
Bali Hai Restaurant - Some things are almost impossible to walk by without touching, even if they're fake.
AARP Insurance - A tribute to the cheesiest line I've ever heard in a television commercial. Maybe even the cheesiest line I've heard anywhere.
Holiday Castaway - Our friends hid a dirty secret in their family Christmas card. <-- Imaged borrowed from DogDoo.com (a great website)